Lies About Sex

I went for lunch with my Mongolian friend, Chuka, today. I was telling her a story that I had read from a book. The author was illustrating how children can hear the voice of God. 

My son Dominic, who was four years old at the time, crawled onto my lap and leaned in close. We were sitting in the front row of a Bible College chapel. I had been teaching there for orientation week and was about to share my final "two cents worth". As the worship time wound down, I asked Domo, " What is God showing you about the students here?" He briefly scanned the crowd over my shoulder and replied, "God is telling me that some of them have ruined gardens." The imagery stunned me. In Song of Solomon, the garden is a specific symbol for a woman's sexuality (Songs 4:12 - 5:1). In that context, a locked garden represents the bride's virginity. Her invitation to the love to enter her garden and taste its fruit is a picture of consensual intercourse. Of course, Domo knew none of this. Yet to me, the image of the ruined garden (i.e., sexual brokenness) was so striking that I followed it up, "What does Jesus want to do about that?" He replied, " Jesus wants to plant new flowers in their gardens." This spoke to me of restored innocence.

[from ‘Children, Can You Hear Me?’ by Brad Jersak]

After I had shared, she began to tell me a tradition of Mongolia. Mongolians were always hospitable. The would always offer food and a bed to any guest without the guest having to ask. They would welcome them into their gers, the Mongolian round tents. Inside the tent, there were not separate rooms, but one large open space. The guest would sleep in the centre, the parents on one side and the children on the other side. Mongolian parents were always looking for eligible men for their daughters. They would ‘size’ their guest up, to ascertain if he was wealthy. They’d look at his clothes, his pipe, etc. If they had a beautiful, young daughter, they would try to get the man with her.

In the middle of the night, the guest would crawl over to where the daughter was sleeping. The parents would be able to hear. If the parents were against the man, the father would light a candle and the guest would know that he was not welcome to the daughter and would go back to bed. If, however, the father did not light a candle, the guest would have sex with the daughter, then and there!

In the morning, the parents would try to ‘sell’ their daughter to the man, but even after having sex with her, the guest was under no obligation to marry her and could leave if he chose.

This custom is mostly not followed today in Mongolia, as the country is becoming modernized and people are moving out of gers and into cities.

She was also telling me how it was the children’s responsibility to look after the animals. Often the children would need to herd the sheep and other animals a few hours away from the ger in order to find good pasture for them to graze on. This often meant that young girls would be out alone in the countryside. If men were riding by and saw a young girl who they were attracted to, they would stop and rape them. These young girls were completely defenseless. 

It was a rare thing for any girl to still be a virgin on her wedding day.

I’ve been thinking about this tradition. I am amazed at how Satan has taken an entire culture and changed the value of sex. This tradition did not protect and value women but left them open to be used and abused. Sex was reduced to a ‘try before you buy’ mentality (which is very common today also). How can an entire people group think so little of their young girls and women? Oh, the lies we have bought into!