Finally

Finally! After a prolific song writing year in 2007, I entered into a drought. I could not, would not, should not write anything. I tried a few times and every thing was dreary and monotonous and I begged myself to please stop boring myself and gave it up.

In the past month, I have had 2 people share with me that they feel God was saying, 'now is the time to begin writing again'. This had followed a growing conviction to the same end inside myself...

The question was, 'how?'

I am so out of touch and majorly hesitant and I am not who I was and I didn't know what to do.

Last night, I remembered the title of a song that I had wanted to write in 2007 and never got around to it.

I sat down and just wrote the lyrics.

Like that!

And I cried.

Later I typed them out and was doing other work and then I just picked up my phone, started voice record and then just sang the song.

Like that!

I praise God. This is not me. I had nothing to do with this. I did not strive, stress or force anything.

I look forward to seeing what God gives me from now...

Heart Attitude

It is less than a week until I leave for a mission trip to Northern Thailand. This will be my first trip there. I am:

Excited

Tired

Curious

Resistant

Busy

Slightly Unwell

Stretched

Resigned

Expectant

It is interesting, my journey to this place.

This was the outreach that I was not supposed to go on

In fact, I signed up to staff this DTS with the agreement that I would not do outreach at all. Not doing outreach at all led to, staffing local outreach, which led to leading local outreach, which ended up as staffing international outreach AND then returning to lead a local outreach.

It has not been easy.

Long story short, my school leaders changed their minds. And left me with no choice.

And I was angry

Then I was resigned

Then I just stopped thinking about it

Now I am back to angry

I am not really angry at the leader now, more at the CIRCUMSTANCES

I was talking to the man I consider to be my spiritual dad and mentor. He encouraged me that I am really doing well, in choosing to both submit and obey, and that God saw.

That does help.

I guess that AUTHORITY has been a huge lesson over this past year, coming from both YWAM and the church I go to.

I have not FINISHED learning this, I am in the process.

So if anyone is reading this, please may you stop for a moment and pray for me? Pray that I do what is pleasing to my Daddy God first, that I have the heart attitudes that he would love for me to have.

Because, in the end, that is all that matters really…

What Love Is and Is Not...

If I can speak Mandarin, French, Spanish, Thai, Lao, Tamil, Gaelic, Greek, Latin, Turkish and Russian, but I don't have love... 
I AM NOTHING
If I have 3 university degrees, 2 doctorates; if I can see into the future, speak to the dead, can read the stars and the seasons; if I can command the Himalayas to move to Jamaica, but I don't have love...
I AM NOTHING
If I donate all my clothes, shoes, books, jewellery, CDs, DVDs, toiletries and everything I own to charity and then even give up my body for medical research, but I don't have love...
I GAIN NOTHING

LOVE:

is patient
is kind
is not envious
doesn't boast
is not arrogant
is not rude
doesn't insist on it's own way
is not irritable 
is not resentful
doesn't rejoice in wrong
does rejoice with truth

LOVE:

bears all things
believes all things
hopes all things
endures all thing

LOVE NEVER ENDS

All those things:
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_________________________________________will pass away...
Now we can only half see. Later we will fully see
Faith, Hope and Love live together
But the greatest is LOVE
Love must have a price. Love is not self-convenience. The price of love may cause you to suffer.
If I am the best preacher, evangelist, prophet, healer, worshipper or missionary, but I don't have love... I may as well just stay home!

God, I come to you as a student of love. I don't know how to love selflessly. Teach me your ways of love... 

Inspired by: 1 Corinthians 13

The Year is Closing the Door

Today is December 1, and the final month of 2009 has begun.

I am tired... really tired. It has been a huge year for me, and an incredibly difficult one to say the least.

So, as I start this beginning of the end, I choose to remember these words:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. [Phil 4:8] ESV