Heart Attitude

It is less than a week until I leave for a mission trip to Northern Thailand. This will be my first trip there. I am:

Excited

Tired

Curious

Resistant

Busy

Slightly Unwell

Stretched

Resigned

Expectant

It is interesting, my journey to this place.

This was the outreach that I was not supposed to go on

In fact, I signed up to staff this DTS with the agreement that I would not do outreach at all. Not doing outreach at all led to, staffing local outreach, which led to leading local outreach, which ended up as staffing international outreach AND then returning to lead a local outreach.

It has not been easy.

Long story short, my school leaders changed their minds. And left me with no choice.

And I was angry

Then I was resigned

Then I just stopped thinking about it

Now I am back to angry

I am not really angry at the leader now, more at the CIRCUMSTANCES

I was talking to the man I consider to be my spiritual dad and mentor. He encouraged me that I am really doing well, in choosing to both submit and obey, and that God saw.

That does help.

I guess that AUTHORITY has been a huge lesson over this past year, coming from both YWAM and the church I go to.

I have not FINISHED learning this, I am in the process.

So if anyone is reading this, please may you stop for a moment and pray for me? Pray that I do what is pleasing to my Daddy God first, that I have the heart attitudes that he would love for me to have.

Because, in the end, that is all that matters really…