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| Four generations on my mother's side |
The women in my family are strong. They've had to be.
My maternal grandmother was an amazing woman who learnt how to thrive in difficulty. She was resourceful beyond measure. She wore the tool belt in the family, teaching herself skills to repair and construct, while my grandfather didn't know which end of the hammer to hold.
My mother has been through more than a single body should. With three very unhealthy marriages under her belt, she has lived a life that no one would choose for themselves. She sacrificed so many things throughout her life for men wouldn't sacrifice anything for her.
My mother isn't the very feminine type. She has never cared much about her hair or her clothes. To this day, she labels herself a 'dag', an Australian expression for someone far from fashionable or cultured. Personally, I wouldn't go that far in describing her, however, to my own shame, I have some fairly strong memories of being embarrassed by her growing up.
Now, I am also quite sure that being ashamed of your parents is a general human experience. What teen hasn't wished that their parents were anything except for who and what they were?
I made a lot of internal promises, that I would 'never be like my mother'.
And now here I am, a mother of two boys, in my early to mid 30s, and reminding myself of my own mother on an almost daily basis.
In our bedroom, we have full length mirrors on our wardrobe. I was laying down, putting my two sons to sleep, and without really thinking, I glanced at my reflection. I was struck by how much I looked like my mother.
And in that moment, all the memories of trying to be as different to her as possible, came rushing back.
But I also realised that I no longer minded.
I am not my mother. I have made my own choices in life, and walked my own path. But the genetics of me comes from a clear hereditary line.
As I look at my body, not often with love or appreciation, I can see my history. And suddenly, I recognise that I am part of a family. My heritage is strength. Our bodies are not always beautiful, but they endure, they can do amazing things from creating art to birthing life.
