Hanging On

Someone did something to be this morning that really hurt me. Their actions and attitude are to exclude me and to cause pain. As I sit here at my work desk, with tears running down my cheeks, the only thing that keeps running through my mind is:

‘Today, my grace is sufficient for you.’

2 Corinthians 12:9 - 10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I feel like I am really taking a beating. I have been under quite intense fire from the same direction for over a year now. The battle is wearing me out. I am losing joy.

God have only given me enough grace for today. I don’t have enough to face tomorrow. but sometimes, I feel like I only have enough grace to walk through this minute... 

It reminds me of the lyrics:

I'm falling even more in love with you 

Letting go of all I've held onto 

I'm standing here until you make me move 

I'm hanging by a moment here with you 

[Hanging By A Moment, Lifehouse]

Another song that is helping me a lot at the moment is ‘I Look To You’ by Whitney Houston:

As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I’m lost without a cause
After giving it my all

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I’ve been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you,
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
I look to you,
I look to you
And when melodies are gone In you I hear a song
I look to you

Have to lose my breath
There's no fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door

And every road that I've taken
Led to my regret
And I don't know if I'm go'n make it
Nothing to do but lift my head

My levees are broken
My walls are coming down on me
My rain is falling
Defeat is calling
I need you to set me free
Take me far away from the battle
I need you
Shine on me!

My greatest concern through all this is that I keep my heart soft. Life is lived from the heart and I will not allow my heart to turn dark, cold and nasty.