Where is the Fairytale?

As life goes on, I am discovering that it really isn't at all like I imagined it would be.

I'm now preparing for my wedding, and it is starting to make me reflect back on my life and my childhood dreams. 

I am very forward thinking. I have a five year plan... well, actually longer really. I have goals and I will achieve them. But one thing I need to be careful of, is dissatisfaction with the now.

For the longest time, we have been under so much pressure to get engaged. And now, we are barely engaged and already we are being asked when we plan to start having children... wait a moment, aren't we supposed to be married first?!

Being engaged also doesn't fix my current situation. I still have the same pressures at work. I still struggle to balance my different social circles. There is definitely a greater level of security in terms of our relationship... but I didn't suddenly inherit a better standard of life. And I have a sneaking suspicion that although marriage will surely bring a lot of changes to my life, it isn't going to make anything better. In fact, given the pressures of adjusting to each other, it may make it feel slightly worse.

I think that fulfillment in life can never actually be found in life... The things that make up day-to-day life are so transient. The stages of life are also not satisfying because they are one off. I only intend to be married once. So once I have 'achieved' the goal of marriage... then what?

I think that really life is found outside of life as we know it. And the search of that life is where fulfillment and truth is found. 

Fairytales are meant to be just that... tales...