I had a dinner appointment with a friend tonight but she had to cancel as she is unwell, so I decided to cook for myself.
Tonight I had the kitchen on my floor to myself, which is reasonably unusual. I made a very simple meal of pasta with broccoli with a tomato and tuna sauce. But it was delicious!
I had just sat down to eat, with a pot of Green Tea brought all the way from Nepal by Uncle Jerry for me and with a marvelous book, ‘Searching for God Knows What,’ (by Donald Miller) when a friend came up ‘just to chat.’
Actually, it is amazing. This is a girl whom I found annoying when I first met her. Like… really. But community living is teaching me to find value in everyone, even people whom I would rather not spend enough time with to find the positive side.
She has a problem in that, she likes a guy, but it seems he doesn’t like her. She went away on a mission trip for 4 months and before she left, she gave him her email address, but he never contacted her.
I have no wise words for her.
But I do have ears to listen and a new found love towards her. I started loving her just before she left.
One of the things I like about her is that she is real. She doesn’t try to be someone else that people may like better; she is honest about her spirituality and her journey with God. She longs to be liked and loved, just like everyone else does, but she doesn’t conform to others’ behaviour to get it.
This is beautiful.
Plus she has changed. It is lovely to see her becoming more like who she really is, in God’s eyes.
So she stopped by for a bit to talk. After she left, I had just started eating again and I heard Uncle Jerry down the hall, playing ‘Amazing Grace’ on his new flute.
So I sat, thinking about this girl, and my delicious food, and listening to Uncle Jerry, and I was overwhelmed by joy and all I could say was, ‘life is beautiful.’
I’ve just finished re-reading ‘The Divine Romance’ which completely ruins me every time I read it. The incredible love that my God has for me is so… incomparable.
And I saw the depth of his love in this evening. What kind of God would create taste buds that can enjoy delicious flavours or would invent music?
God must be so very relational to say that it is not good for us to be alone and so he made friends and relationships.
I love him. There can be no other response.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I Dare Myself
After being completely frustrated and saddened about the world and myself for a very long time, I came to a moment in time this afternoon when I HAD to do something!
IMAGINE if I took all the money that comes my way and said, ‘God, ALL this is yours… what do you want me to do with it?’
IMAGINE if I dared to radically give to people, even in times of lack.
IMAGINE if I opened my day planner and said, ‘God, ALL my time is yours… what would you like me to do with it?’
IMAGINE if I chose to invest time into people, giving them permission to talk and just listening without having to 'have my own say'.
IMAGINE if I surrendered all my possessions and said, ‘God, EVERYTHING I have is yours… what would you like me to do with these?’
IMAGINE if I opened my arms, looked into the face of my God and said, ‘Daddy, ALL I AM IS YOURS… You can move me, open me, heal me, love me, use me, ruin me, do whatever you want to… all I am is yours.’
I dare myself to do this. I am scared… but I shouldn’t be. God is good, faithful, trustworthy… what have I to fear? When I live and love with open hands, that is when everything I love is truly safe.
So why not try this? There is no point being convicted and then doing… nothing…
IMAGINE if I took all the money that comes my way and said, ‘God, ALL this is yours… what do you want me to do with it?’
IMAGINE if I dared to radically give to people, even in times of lack.
IMAGINE if I opened my day planner and said, ‘God, ALL my time is yours… what would you like me to do with it?’
IMAGINE if I chose to invest time into people, giving them permission to talk and just listening without having to 'have my own say'.
IMAGINE if I surrendered all my possessions and said, ‘God, EVERYTHING I have is yours… what would you like me to do with these?’
IMAGINE if I opened my arms, looked into the face of my God and said, ‘Daddy, ALL I AM IS YOURS… You can move me, open me, heal me, love me, use me, ruin me, do whatever you want to… all I am is yours.’
I dare myself to do this. I am scared… but I shouldn’t be. God is good, faithful, trustworthy… what have I to fear? When I live and love with open hands, that is when everything I love is truly safe.
So why not try this? There is no point being convicted and then doing… nothing…
Stirring Up My Faith
For the past two years, I have been learning about faith and finances. Prior to this time, I was working hard, earning a living while studying and had the ability to buy whatever I wanted. Then God asked me to go to Bible College last year and to come to YWAM (Youth With A Mission) in Singapore this year. This time in my life has really challenged my mindset about provision.
I am a good provider for myself. I know what it means to work and get paid. I know how to live within my means and how to budget.
Then I do not need God…
Having grown up without a real Dad, I do not know how to look to God as a Daddy who loves and provides and intentionally seeks to bless me. No matter how much I hear teaching on this, the journey from my head to my heart has proven difficult and God knows that the only way I will ‘get it’ is through experience.
This morning, I have been moaning my money woes. I want to have my hair cut but some money that I was expecting in my account has not gone through. A simple thing, like a hair cut, is now something I have to think about. Previously, I never had to think about where the money for a trim would come from.
I was chatting with JJ on MSN just now, and he told me to ‘not have a poverty mentality; that God would provide for me.’ I have been sitting here and thinking about his words.
I have heard so many times from the pulpit the words ‘stir up your faith!’ said with great enthusiasm. It makes me feel awakened and fired up to believe. Then I walk out of church and too soon forget.
I decided that I will not be a ‘victim’ this morning. I do not want to be depressed and downcast, thinking of my lack rather than of my Jehovah Jireh, my God who provides. I do not want to be a ‘hearer of the Word’ only, and not a ‘doer’.
I sat myself down and began to remember. I told myself stories about how God has miraculously provided for me over the past two years, and even beyond.
I remembered a few months ago I was doing a one-day ironing job and at the end, the lady presented me with a cheque that covered my board for the month… the amazing mobile phone that was given to me… when I came back from outreach with $3 in my purse and by the end of the night I had $50… the list goes on!
My faith is still growing slowly, day-by-day. However, regardless of my faith or lack of faith, my Daddy God continues to be faithful. I have never had no food, no roof over my head, and no clothes. Anything above this is abundant blessing. I just need to realise the fact and change my mindset.
Perhaps instead of focusing on my lack, it would do me good instead to remember the blessings and bask in the love and goodness of my Daddy.
I am a good provider for myself. I know what it means to work and get paid. I know how to live within my means and how to budget.
Then I do not need God…
Having grown up without a real Dad, I do not know how to look to God as a Daddy who loves and provides and intentionally seeks to bless me. No matter how much I hear teaching on this, the journey from my head to my heart has proven difficult and God knows that the only way I will ‘get it’ is through experience.
This morning, I have been moaning my money woes. I want to have my hair cut but some money that I was expecting in my account has not gone through. A simple thing, like a hair cut, is now something I have to think about. Previously, I never had to think about where the money for a trim would come from.
I was chatting with JJ on MSN just now, and he told me to ‘not have a poverty mentality; that God would provide for me.’ I have been sitting here and thinking about his words.
I have heard so many times from the pulpit the words ‘stir up your faith!’ said with great enthusiasm. It makes me feel awakened and fired up to believe. Then I walk out of church and too soon forget.
I decided that I will not be a ‘victim’ this morning. I do not want to be depressed and downcast, thinking of my lack rather than of my Jehovah Jireh, my God who provides. I do not want to be a ‘hearer of the Word’ only, and not a ‘doer’.
I sat myself down and began to remember. I told myself stories about how God has miraculously provided for me over the past two years, and even beyond.
I remembered a few months ago I was doing a one-day ironing job and at the end, the lady presented me with a cheque that covered my board for the month… the amazing mobile phone that was given to me… when I came back from outreach with $3 in my purse and by the end of the night I had $50… the list goes on!
My faith is still growing slowly, day-by-day. However, regardless of my faith or lack of faith, my Daddy God continues to be faithful. I have never had no food, no roof over my head, and no clothes. Anything above this is abundant blessing. I just need to realise the fact and change my mindset.
Perhaps instead of focusing on my lack, it would do me good instead to remember the blessings and bask in the love and goodness of my Daddy.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I Dare You: Embracing Life With Passion
‘Taking responsibility for how we live is a brave thing. It takes courage to accept life as it comes to us and it also takes courage to be determined to make the most we can out of it. Life is too short to waste it by always erring on the cautious side or playing it safe instead of pursuing all you can be. It’s time to take action and make your life count: step out of the boat and start working toward leaving a legacy when you are gone.’ [p. ix]
‘It is possible to change our motive by simply making a decision, but we must first know what our motives and purposes are. This requires some deep soul searching few people take the time to do. Quite often we are afraid to really know ourselves. It is a brave person who faces truth about himself and does whatever is necessary to line up with God’s will. I dare you to be bold enough to honestly examine all your motives and be willing to do nothing if you cannot do something for right reason.’ [p. 15]
- ‘I Dare You: Embracing Life With Passion’ by Joyce Meyer
‘It is possible to change our motive by simply making a decision, but we must first know what our motives and purposes are. This requires some deep soul searching few people take the time to do. Quite often we are afraid to really know ourselves. It is a brave person who faces truth about himself and does whatever is necessary to line up with God’s will. I dare you to be bold enough to honestly examine all your motives and be willing to do nothing if you cannot do something for right reason.’ [p. 15]
- ‘I Dare You: Embracing Life With Passion’ by Joyce Meyer
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