Cross-Cultural Living

Photograph by Andrew Chew, Advocate Images

Today is our baby's due date...



I think that living cross-culturally is fun and exciting and not at all difficult... until it comes to major life events.

Last year, I was married in a country that was not my own, into a culture that is not mine. 

This year, I am having a baby, again in a culture that is not mine.

I have been struggling a bit with it emotionally, beyond the standard ‘pregnancy hormones’ excuse.

It has caused me to really spend time processing and talking with God about why it is all bothering me so very much.

I feel like this last week I have finally come to some place of understanding.

It has been difficult for me because the local context thinks in a way that is on a totally different plane to how I think, and therefore behave. The values are different. The practices and history are different. It is literally like speaking another language with no means of translation, and therefore, no way to comprehend where the other side is coming from.

But now, because this is MY baby, and because I want to do my absolute utmost to make the best choices, from my own knowledge and thinking, that will benefit my baby, there is a much stronger emotion attached to circumstances than there normally would be. The cultural differences that before I could laugh off, find amusing or just ignore are now trying to speak into something that is incredibly important to me. Motherhood is a role I take very seriously. There is nothing casual about my understanding of God’s mandate on me to do this.

But I have been torn. Because in spite of the many, varied and often unwanted and unsought for advice, instructions, ‘commands’ and invasions on my understanding of my own personal space and privacy, I really do see that the ‘other side’ is reacting out of excitement. They are showing their joy the only way they know how. Because for them, their behaviour is normal.

And I want my baby to be loved, wanted and accepted by the various communities that we are a part of. I genuinely want people to have the freedom to celebrate this amazing new gift to us as a family, and to them as our friends and extended family, etc.

So where am I to stand? How can I walk the line between being in one culture, but also recognising my own, and allowing myself the space to enjoy this part of my life journey also. 

I recognise that I definitely take people’s words and actions too much to heart. 

My desire is to learn through this experience, how to let God’s peace rule and reign in my heart, regardless of what may happen around me or to me. That is what is missing in my experience. 

And from that peace, I want to learn to respond in love better. That my words may be gracious and understanding, and not snappy and irritable.

Oh God, work in my heart and change me to be more like you!