Sweet Surrender

Sweet Surrender

Luke Parker

In my weakness you are strong

You hold me hand and hold my heart

I give it away now, I am on my knees

Offering all I am for you to see

I am thirsty for your presence, Lord

Sweet surrender is all I can give

Sweet surrender to you my offering

Jesus, you’re all I’m living for

I’m holding on to you, my friend, my all

In your fullness I am free

Help me Jesus to receive

In the secret place I’m on my knees

Reaching the deepest parts for you to see

There is nothing more

There is nothing more I have

There is nothing more

There is nothing more I can give

There is nothing more

There is nothing more I have

There is nothing more I have to give

An Afternoon with the Elderly

On Friday after, my DTS had a local outreach to a home for the elderly that is within the block where we stay. We went and cleaned for the home first, scrubbing down their tables, chairs, windows and doors and mopping. It was hard work and we did that for 1.5 hours before we were finished and were able to interact with the residents. 
I ended up sitting with a woman who was 80+ if she was a day old. She was so small and crinkled and she had the most beautiful pale blue eyes. The interesting thing was that she only spoke Hokkien and I only speak English. I just sat with her and tried to sign some things, which she obviously didn’t understand and I eventually fell silent again.
After a while with her, for some reason the story of Jonah came to my mind. I said to her out loud, I know you don’t under stand a word that I am saying, so I will speak to your spirit instead and believe that there, you will understand me.
So I told her the story of Jonah. And then I prayed for her that her heart who not be like Jonah, and that she would not run away from God and his purposes for her. I prayed that her spiritual life would be rich, even though your physical life could no longer be. Then I sang a few songs to her. She watched me, but didn’t really respond.
After that, it was dinner time and we were invited to stay longer and to help feed the residents. I was paired with an old lady. She suffered from dementia and was tied into her wheel chair because she was prone to wandering. Again, she didn’t speak a word of English. 
I had to spoon feed her, which went well at first, until she got really restless. She kept grabbing my arms and pulling on me while saying something. I asked a friend to come over and translate what she was trying to say. My friend told me that she was saying, ‘I don’t understand what you are saying when you speak English, but I don’t mind - please just take me away from here’. It was heartbreaking to hear.
After she had eaten as much as she would, I asked if I could wheel her around the garden and the nurses told me that I could.
It was during this time that I realised how much God must have been working in my heart!
I used to be a dental nurse. I was one of those hyper clean types. I was the most sterile in my working manner. The dentists used to joke with me that my future kids would get sick all the time because I wouldn’t allow them to be exposed to any germs.
Back to this elderly lady, she kept spitting, but the saliva wouldn’t drop off, so she would grab the saliva with her fingers and throw it onto the ground. And then she kept grabbing at my arms telling me where to take her in the garden. It took me a few moments to adjust to the idea that she was spreading her saliva all over my arms. And then I realised that for this lady, she didn’t get this opportunity very often as the nurses are far too busy to spend half an hour wheeling her around the garden. 
I have a very soft spot for the elderly and I usually come away from spending time in homes for the elderly feeling sober and every teary. This time was not different.
I came away feel how blessed I am to be able to honour the people who shaped this nation that has ‘adopted’ me. I am only sad that the language barriers stopped me from being able to communicate with them.

My Mouth

Today I was so upset to hear from a friend of mine who had had some nasty words said to her. I was enraged by the downright lies spoke to her through a ‘friend’. What this ‘friend’ doesn’t realise, is that the words spoken went right to her heart and lied about her identity. Worse still, that was the second time this week!
In the middle of her pain, I was sharply reminded of the importance of watching what I say. 
As the altered expression goes:


Sticks and stones may break bones, but words can break a heart...


Man! The words we flippantly throw around without thought! The damage done, perhaps unintentionally, but still through thoughtlessness and carelessness!
Oh God, teach me to watch my mouth! May my words bring life and encouragement, freedom and hope! 

Love Without Fear

I was having a discussion not long ago with a friend. She was telling me that we shouldn’t love guys more than they love us. She said that the key is to be the one loved more than the one loving. She said that it isn’t safe to love more than the other person. She said that if you love someone else completely, with all your heart, you’ll get hurt.
I completely disagree with my friend.
Love cannot be based on fear, or else it is not really love. Perhaps it is survival instead.
I believe that true love is about loving with all, without being conditionally dependent on the other persons love for you.
I see that in Jesus. He loved, even though it cost him every and wasn’t appreciated.
But I struggle with then. Because my own love is conditional.
Lately, my love has been put to the test. In a few of my relationships, I have had to come to a place of love-by-choice, not love-by-feeling. In the past two especially, I have been put in situations where love would be close to my last natural response.
And yet, as I am facing these people and circumstances, the Spirit within me gently says, ‘love’.
As I approach the coming Discipleship Training School that I am staffing, when I spend time praying, the word that keeps coming to me is:


Will I allow myself to go into someone else’s pain? Will I respond with love towards unlovable people? Will I look through God’s eyes, or through my own?


I believe that true love costs everything. If love is cheap, then maybe it is not love at all?
But should I fear love? If it will cost me everything I have, is it something to be feared?
In the book of first John, Paul says that ‘God IS love’. God is to be honoured and revered, yes. But he is not to be afraid of. He is terrifying. And abounding in steadfast love.
I do not want to live my life being afraid of loving too much. I don’t want to pour out my love in measurements; exactingly.
I want to live my life throwing love from me out of the abundance of love that God continually showers on me


1 John 4:18 - 19
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.