Say The Words

We were on the way home by train on Saturday. We'd had a morning appointment which had run late, so both boys were tired, cranky, wound up and overdue a nap. Our 2-year-old was particularly angsty. I was holding him in my lap and humming to him, while also listening to and occasionally answering our 4-year-old when required. Needless to say, I was hardly aware of anyone else around us. 

When we were at the station before the one we would get off at, I mentioned it to our eldest, as he likes to count down how many stops left.

It was then that I became aware of a Muslim woman, who was standing next to us and had apparently been listening and watching all that we had been doing and saying. 

She suddenly leaned forward, made eye contact and said, "You are such an amazing mother! You would have to be 101% patience. I have never seen anything like it. Well done!"

Four simple sentences. 

And I started to tear as I thanked her.

Now of course, she doesn't know the whole story. She didn't see the many, many times when I was the opposite of patient. 

What struck me the most, was how incredibly rare her comments were.

I/we are bombarded every day with negative messages. 

We aren't good enough. We don't look right. We don't behave correctly. And endless list of 'you should be more's. 

What a breath of fresh air this stranger was! And now, four days later, her words still echo in my thoughts. 

I am reminded of the verse in Ephesians 4:29:

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

And as I consider the workings of my own heart, I am challenged. Too often, my words are biting and critical. It's become a habit that I must share my (usually negative) opinions, even if only to my husband. But am I as quick and as compelled to share the good? 

I asked myself, what 'glasses' would I rather view the world though? Is my energy better spent noting the negative? Or should gratefulness, joy and contentment be my filter? 

Which attitude comes from a life filled with the Holy Spirit. 

What attitude do I want to model to my sons?

So I pray, and I now work, at catching the little negative comments and replacing them with the good. I am not saying that we should deny the existence of bad days, moods or circumstances. 

But as Philippians 4:8-9 encourages:

"8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

I want to choose to spend my energy, physically and mentally, on the good things in life, that are really just blessings from our Father God. 

And I want to be the person who steps across barriers of shyness or social norms, to be the one who encourages others in their various walks of life, speaking kindly and cheering them on. Who know's who might need to hear some positive words in their day?

Thoughts in My Early Thirties: Finances

I have been doing some thinking about the differences between being in my 20's and now shifting into my 30's, I thought I would jot down some ideas I have. This may morph into my manifesto for the coming decade.

One area that I have often given much thought to, not just recently, but throughout my life, is finances.

I have a diverse background relating to money.

Growing up, we were poor. Like, can't-afford-to-buy-groceries kind of poor. I have distinct memories of not having anything left to eat in the house, and suddenly (and amazingly) there was a knock at the door. When we went to answer, no one was there, but some bags of groceries had been left for us. Such experiences taught me a lot about God's faithfulness and provision.

I started working full-time when I was 15-years-old. I started off as a waitress. When I was 18, I was given the opportunity to work and study Dental Nursing. It was during that time I discovered branded goods and a love of shopping. I thought nothing of spending $200 plus on the teeniest bikini that just so happened to be a particular brand. Those were the golden days of my excessive living and I honestly did enjoy it. 

And then... I went to Bible School... I was back on the poverty line, usually only eating once or twice a day to save money. After a year, I moved to Singapore and joined YWAM.

All that is to say, I have experienced both ends of the spectrum. I was never fabulously wealthy, but I had more than enough to be able to buy whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. And I have experienced lack even down to the necessities of life.

So now, where am I? We are very, very far from wealthy. We have just enough to live on with occasionally a little spare to save. And I am happy for now. 

But my thoughts have recently been, not so much about how much money we have, but about my mindset towards money.

I have come to define money as a tool. It's a great tool to have. I would love to have more of it. 

I think when money becomes a vehicle by which I can indulge on myself, when it is all about me, then something has gone wrong. Self indulgence is not my life goal.

Real Life

My Grandfather's Funeral, 2010

Yesterday I attended the wake, and today the final service, of a woman from our church who passed away. As I was listening to our Pastor speak, I started to think about death. 

As Halloween has just passed, I have been thinking about how our culture has such a morbid fascination with death. We love to watch movies about paranormal activity and be entertained by witches and vampires. 

I was listening to a sermon online from the Book of Romans the other day, and in a side note, the Pastor mentioned that we should be ‘wise to truth, and naive to evil.’ That’s a bit challenging these days.

So this morning, I was thinking about how this woman has died. And about death in general. And then suddenly my thoughts began to shift focus.

I felt like maybe death wasn’t even the point.

I remembered a verse:

“A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” John 10:10 (MSG)

When we who have a relationship with Jesus die, we don’t actually die. Not in a truer sense. No, we begin to really live. In a realer-than-real-life-way. We begin to experience the fullest meaning of abundant life that our Father promised us. It sounds backwards, but it still true.

I think that understanding this truth would remove all fear of death. Or even the focus on death. 

And that is a beautiful thing. To not fear death but to long for something more wonderful and glorious than we’ve ever seen or dreamt of.

1 Corinthians 15:50 - 58

I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”

“O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

A First-World Problem

Lahu Tribe, Northern Thailand, December 2009

Last night my husband and I had just finished dinner and were sitting on the sofa and decided that we felt like something for dessert. We went through our fridge and came up with 3 or 4 options for dessert, none of which tickled our fancies.

Afterwards I was thinking about how this is such a first-world problem.

We are the rich few who have so much choice when it comes to food that we are able to follow our taste buds and eat what we feel like.

How often to we stop to think about how incredible that is?

According to recent statistics, 50% of the world live on less than $2.50 a day*. For them, food is a necessity to life, not an opportunity for self comfort.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not believe that eating good food is of the devil and we should all eat plain rice twice a day and be happy with it.

No, what I am saying is, let’s first recognise how wealthy we are indeed. The fact that we even have choice, proves the fact the we are blessed beyond belief.

And secondly, let’s take a minute to think about our buying choices. I am a firm believer in small sacrifices making huge differences in the world. I do believe that if every one of us gave up one cup of coffee a week, we could use that money to make a profound difference in one person’s life living in poverty.

And thirdly, let’s be grateful. Let us celebrate life. Let us choose to see the abundant life that God has given to us. Let us not think of it as a right that we deserve, but correctly think of it as the overwhelming love and provision of God poured out in our lives.

A friend of mine from Australia just went on a trip to Nepal and her Facebook status this morning expressed deep sadness that in Australia, people spend money on clothes, bags and accessories that cost more than the price of a young girl being sold into prostitution.

It is heart breaking and eye opening.

Doesn't that put things into perspective?

* www.statisticbrain.com/world-poverty-statistics/