Bottoms Before Bags

It happens so often that it has almost become normal.

When travelling on public transport or sitting in public places, we put our bags on the seat next to us.

I really get it. No one likes to put their lovely (and sometimes very expensive) bag on the dirty floor. Floors are filthy. 

Today, I took the boys to a nearby water play park. There are quite a few bench seats around, each catering for two adults. When I first arrived, it was not very crowded, so I dumped my three bags on the seat next to me and sat doing my crochet while the boys splashed and played. 

An hour later, more people had arrived and all available benches were taken. I looked up from my crochet and noticed a fellow mum standing as there was no where to sit, watching her own kids play. I quickly packed up my things, trying to get her eye contact across the space to indicate that I was making room for her. As that didn't work, as soon as I had put everything down, I walked over and asked her if she would like to take a seat. She looked so grateful and thanked me profusely. 

You're welcome, I said. It's too hot to stand around. 

And that was the total sum of our conversation. 

But it made me think about the common occurrence where I have had to stand while others have taken space with their bags. 

And I also wondered how often I had not noticed others standing while my bag occupied a seat?

The most expensive bag I have ever owned was probably about $200. I really don't remember. It was so long ago since 'branded' meant anything to me. I don't actually know how much branded bags cost, but have heard of them costing thousands in some cases. 

There is NO bag that is more valuable than a person. None. When a person becomes less important than an object, something is seriously wrong. 

Our personal convenience should also not outweigh the value of another human. It's easier when carrying multiple bags to take up more seats than we need to. There are, of course, exceptions to this. I am not trying to be legalistic. I have often struggled carrying a backpack, a tote or three, and had the two boys alone while on public transport and in such cases, as much grace as possible from my fellow commuters is welcome! 

But as far as I am humanly able, I want to communicate worth to those around me. To make space, to give grace and to assign value in the right direction. 

Validation

As a 'full time missionary,' a question I have been wrestling with is, am I still a missionary now that I am not doing any ministry? 

Sure, I understand that raising a child is a valuable and worthy way to spend my time, but am I still a 'missionary' or have I switched over to be a 'full time mum'?

The human side of me still wants to know my title, to know my role, even if only for myself. 

Last week I had a conversation with a young member of our community, a girl reaching the edges of young womanhood. It felt good to speak truth into someone's life again, to have a small taste of discipling someone after a long absence. 

As I was thinking over the conversation later, I was slowly aware of my internal dialogue. I thought to myself, 'maybe I can now spend time intentionally with her, speaking into her life'. 

I realized that I was validating myself, and my position in the community, based on the fact that I was now 'ministering' again to someone. The desire to disciple was good, but the motivation behind it was not. 

It is never ok to use ministry or discipleship in order to validate my own existence or even just my position. Discipleship that is effective must come out of a genuine selflessness. It must be a desire to see someone else grow up and grow into a deeper relationship with God. 

But my thoughts were all about me. I felt good because I was speaking into someone's life, and I now had value. 

God, forgive me for my self focus. Forgive me for selfishly using the gifts you have given me to build myself up and not your Kingdom. 

SBS

Studying the book of Galatians

SBS. The School of Biblical Studies.

We are four days in and finished studying our first book, Galatians. 

During the week, I've had moments of feeling very overwhelmed. The amount of study time required for this type of Bible study is immense and as I look forward to the fact that in around 10 weeks time, I will be having a baby... Wow! I wonder what on earth I was thinking in taking this on!

But yesterday, I had a moment of revelation.

Even if I were to spend double the money to do this course, even if I managed to do none of the homework and failed completely in terms of grades... even then, if I came to a deeper understanding of who God is, His nature and character and ways... it would have been worth it.

In life, there are things that I attribute value to. They are the things I am happy to spend my time and money on. For example, visiting my Nanna. I will scrimp and save as much as I can to ensure that I get to see her at least once a year. Because my relationship with her has value to me. Another example would be my husband, Joel. We live as frugally as we can because we do not take for granted the blessing of being supported in full time ministry. But I am happy to 'splurge' on him and buy him little treats now and then to communicate that I love him and I love to bless him.

On a side note, it is interesting to compare what my understanding of 'splurging' is now as opposed to when I was working and earning a salary. I'm talking a difference in figures that have two zeros after it.

But taking time out and paying good money to study the Bible... God's Word... what is the value in that? Can't I just do that for free in my own home in my spare time?

Well, yes... I could. But I know that taking out this time, investing my resources into discovering God, that is priceless. And that this precious time will be so integral in my future as a woman, wife and mother and in my ministry.

So that is my desire for the coming 9 months (the length of the full course). I want God. More of Him. Deeper revelations. And not for the sake of perfection or making the grade, but because my life depends on it.




Incidentally, today is the one year anniversary of our ROM (legal marriage). Not that we celebrate it, but I am still so thankful to God for His faithfulness to us over that period.

Value

Last week, we had the truly unique experience of being offered a baby for adoption.

The baby’s mother is unmarried and the father has already abandoned them. She is too poor to even afford some of the scans required. And the baby is due in March 2013.

I was contacted because a friend of mine, who heard about this baby, knows my passion for adoption.

In spite of the fact that we are ourselves having a baby in May 2013, my heart broke for this wee one. We sincerely did pray about if we should take on this baby. And in the end, decided that this was not for us in this season of time.

This whole incident put me on a line of thinking.

My own sweet baby is still five months from being born, and yet already is so loved and wanted and valued. And not just by Joel and I. Our parents and siblings, friends and community all love and long for this baby. We are being showered with gifts and practical help for once our baby comes along.

And then there is this other baby; rejected before he or she is even born. Not wanted. In a sense, a child of pain. 

My heart breaks for such children. And I burn with hatred towards the lies being practiced in the world and the sin that creates situations where children are not celebrated, loved, cherished and protected.

We were talking with one of our leaders about our baby and he said to us, a child needs four things: belonging, identity, destiny and security. 

This poor unknown baby is being robbed of those right now. 

Please, take a moment to pray for this little one.