Thoughts in My Early Thirties: Finances

I have been doing some thinking about the differences between being in my 20's and now shifting into my 30's, I thought I would jot down some ideas I have. This may morph into my manifesto for the coming decade.

One area that I have often given much thought to, not just recently, but throughout my life, is finances.

I have a diverse background relating to money.

Growing up, we were poor. Like, can't-afford-to-buy-groceries kind of poor. I have distinct memories of not having anything left to eat in the house, and suddenly (and amazingly) there was a knock at the door. When we went to answer, no one was there, but some bags of groceries had been left for us. Such experiences taught me a lot about God's faithfulness and provision.

I started working full-time when I was 15-years-old. I started off as a waitress. When I was 18, I was given the opportunity to work and study Dental Nursing. It was during that time I discovered branded goods and a love of shopping. I thought nothing of spending $200 plus on the teeniest bikini that just so happened to be a particular brand. Those were the golden days of my excessive living and I honestly did enjoy it. 

And then... I went to Bible School... I was back on the poverty line, usually only eating once or twice a day to save money. After a year, I moved to Singapore and joined YWAM.

All that is to say, I have experienced both ends of the spectrum. I was never fabulously wealthy, but I had more than enough to be able to buy whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. And I have experienced lack even down to the necessities of life.

So now, where am I? We are very, very far from wealthy. We have just enough to live on with occasionally a little spare to save. And I am happy for now. 

But my thoughts have recently been, not so much about how much money we have, but about my mindset towards money.

I have come to define money as a tool. It's a great tool to have. I would love to have more of it. 

I think when money becomes a vehicle by which I can indulge on myself, when it is all about me, then something has gone wrong. Self indulgence is not my life goal.

Rise Up, Australia

Have you seen the news? Right now, in Sydney, hostages are being held in a cafe in the CBD. The news is sketchy, details vary depending on what article you read. We don't really know how is responsible, or what they want. 

My heart is heavy as I read about what is happening now in my country. I know that love is rarely the response to such violent acts, but as I am praying, the only thing that keeps coming to my mind is Matthew 5:43-47. 

I am praying for the safe return of all hostages to their families. 

But as I think and pray about all this, my foremost thought, after praying that there are no deaths, is that now, hopefully, finally Australia will rise up.

We are the lucky country. We are SO blessed, so rich in so many things. Australia is the land of opportunity. And I know that Australians rally when others are in need. We often give a lot of financial help when international crisis calls for it.

And yet... we are comfortable. We are isolated. It is easy to ignore the injustice in the world as we go through our daily lives.

My prayer is that NOW we, as a nation, will rise up. My dream is that my country will be on the forefront of international efforts to end violence, war and crimes. Now it has come to us, to our home. So how will we respond? Will be jump to judge, make blanket statements about this race or that religion? Or will we choose the radical way of Jesus, to respond first with love and grace and forgiveness?

Justice will be done, sooner or later, but how we respond now will shape who we are and become. Australia now has the opportunity to choose who we will be, what words we will speak over the perpetrators. 

In no way do I believe that violence is ok. I am not softening the hideousness of the crimes. But let us not match hatred with hatred, violence with violence. Let's move in the opposite direction, stay soft hearted, welcoming to the foreigner, the homeless, the destitute. 



"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
Matthew 5:43-47

Undeserving

Yesterday, my husband and I were watching an episode of Undercover Boss, the US version. 

The show's premise is that the head of a large company goes undercover for a week, working at the bottom levels of their own company, to see what life is like down there and to access the company from the inside out. 

At the end of the show, the boss usually does some major acts of generosity towards the various people he worked with during the week. 

It's a pretty captivating show, one that we thoroughly enjoy watching. 

This particular episode (Season 4, Episode 2) featured the company Tilted Kilt, a rather scanky chain of pubs, something like a Scottish version of Hooters. The President of the company, Ron Lynch, went undercover and for one of the days he worked with one of his employees, a family man who worked two jobs and a ridiculous amount of hours, in order to ensure that his family, especial his three children, were well provided for. 

At the end of the week, at the big unveiling, Ron gave this man some serious money, set up a college fund for the kids and sent them all on a holiday. 

The father of the family just sat there saying, 'Thank you, thank you' over and over, crying his eyes out. 

And right there, I had a revelation about grace. Because that's EXACTLY what Jeaus did for me. For us. 

He gave us a gift that we just couldn't repay and we could never work hard enough to earn it. Like the employee, there is no way we could pay the 'boss' back. 

It was a gift: and it's a gift that we can only be deeply grateful for. 

Do you remember the moment you were saved? For me, I grew up being a Christian, but it was only after wandering in my teen years, and then coming back, that the true value of what Jesus had done, and was doing for me, hit me. And like the family man above, I was a shattered mess, weeping on the floor 

If only we could keep that reality at the forefront of our minds. How eternally grateful we would stay, and how deeply in love we would remain. Our love would not grow cold. I guess that's the struggle; to not let the memory of this ridiculous gift of grace to fade. 

Thankful

As I lay here, my son sleeping beside me, occasionally nursing or snuggling into my side, my second inside me, beating a rhythm with little kicks and bumps, I have a moment of gratefulness sweep over me. 

I barely slept last night. My son decided playtime was going to happen in the middle of the night. I was so cranky and irritable when I woke and I wondered how I would get through the day ahead. And yet I always do. We always do...

I remember now that I am actually one of the lucky ones. I know of women who's hearts and arms ache for their own little one. They've tried for year on year with no success. 

I just read an article on prostitution in North Kolkata, India (http://www.upworthy.com/he-took-his-camera-to-a-village-where-prostitution-is-a-way-of-life-heres-what-he-found). These women live hell on earth, day in, day out. 

I think that gratefulness really is the key- to joy, happiness, contentment and to living the 'dream' life. There will always be more that we want and need. However, it's always a good idea to stop and recognise the 'so much' that we already have...