Say The Words

We were on the way home by train on Saturday. We'd had a morning appointment which had run late, so both boys were tired, cranky, wound up and overdue a nap. Our 2-year-old was particularly angsty. I was holding him in my lap and humming to him, while also listening to and occasionally answering our 4-year-old when required. Needless to say, I was hardly aware of anyone else around us. 

When we were at the station before the one we would get off at, I mentioned it to our eldest, as he likes to count down how many stops left.

It was then that I became aware of a Muslim woman, who was standing next to us and had apparently been listening and watching all that we had been doing and saying. 

She suddenly leaned forward, made eye contact and said, "You are such an amazing mother! You would have to be 101% patience. I have never seen anything like it. Well done!"

Four simple sentences. 

And I started to tear as I thanked her.

Now of course, she doesn't know the whole story. She didn't see the many, many times when I was the opposite of patient. 

What struck me the most, was how incredibly rare her comments were.

I/we are bombarded every day with negative messages. 

We aren't good enough. We don't look right. We don't behave correctly. And endless list of 'you should be more's. 

What a breath of fresh air this stranger was! And now, four days later, her words still echo in my thoughts. 

I am reminded of the verse in Ephesians 4:29:

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

And as I consider the workings of my own heart, I am challenged. Too often, my words are biting and critical. It's become a habit that I must share my (usually negative) opinions, even if only to my husband. But am I as quick and as compelled to share the good? 

I asked myself, what 'glasses' would I rather view the world though? Is my energy better spent noting the negative? Or should gratefulness, joy and contentment be my filter? 

Which attitude comes from a life filled with the Holy Spirit. 

What attitude do I want to model to my sons?

So I pray, and I now work, at catching the little negative comments and replacing them with the good. I am not saying that we should deny the existence of bad days, moods or circumstances. 

But as Philippians 4:8-9 encourages:

"8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

I want to choose to spend my energy, physically and mentally, on the good things in life, that are really just blessings from our Father God. 

And I want to be the person who steps across barriers of shyness or social norms, to be the one who encourages others in their various walks of life, speaking kindly and cheering them on. Who know's who might need to hear some positive words in their day?