Night Light for Parents

I am not the kind who enjoys devotionals. I mean, I can enjoy them for a day or two, a week at most, but then the rigidity of having to read them day after day gets to me and I just let it drop...

There are seasons in my life, however, when devotionals have been really helpful. I am in that season now. 

I subscribed to 'Night Lights for Parents', an online devotional by Dr. James Dobson which is delivered daily to my inbox. It's available through www.biblegateway.com

Today's message by John William Smith really spoke to me. The context is that he is talking about a school cross country race. Here is an excerpt: 

As the class 5A girls’ race came to a close, I watched a forty-plus-year-old mother—who was wearing patent leather shoes and a skirt and carrying a purse—run the last hundred yards beside her daughter. She saw no other runners. As she ran awkwardly—her long dark hair coming undone and streaming out behind her, giving no thought to the spectacle she made—she cried, “Run, Tami, run!—Run, Tami, run!” There were hundreds of people crowding in, shouting and screaming, but this mother was determined to be heard. “Run, Tami, run—Run, Tami, run,” she pleaded. The girl had no chance to win, and the voice of her mother, whose heart was bursting with exertion and emotion, was not urging her to win.

She was urging her to finish.

The girl was in trouble. Her muscles were cramping; her breath came in ragged gasps; her stride was broken, faltering; she was in the last stages of weariness—just before collapse. But when she heard her mother’s voice, a marvelous transformation took place. She straightened; she found her balance, her bearing, her rhythm; and she finished. She crossed the finish line, turned, and collapsed into the arms of her mother.

They fell down together on the grass and cried, and then they laughed. They were having the best time together, like there was no one else in the world but them. God, I thought, that is so beautiful. Thank You for letting me see that.

Yes, this is encouraging as a new parent. It is a picture of the kind of parent that I wish to be. 

But more so, the message that hit my heart was of God's Father heart for me. I could hear Him whisper in my ear, run, Jasmin, run. 

Being a Mum isn't a walk in the park. There are major rewards, but also incredible challenges and deep stretching. 

Knowing that my Father is there, not requesting perfection, but encouraging me to finish well and do my best job... That is wealth. 

Things To Do Before You Have A Baby

I was super organised when I was pregnant with our son. I thought through all the things I would need, got everything way ahead of time, had all his clothes washed and ready to wear, his toys cleaned, I thought through the kinds of toys I wanted him to have even... 

But now that I have a 4 month old, there are a few things that I wished I had done beforehand:

• totally, utterly and completely sort out of house

I sorted out a LOT of our home before our son was born, but I wish that I had put our home in total order. For example, I want to buy storage containers to keep under our bed as extra storage space. Now, it is quite difficult to carry them home along with our son.

• start my business and build my stock

I started my business after he was born and now it is not easy to have the time to make things to sell. Plus I am working on building the framework of the business at the same time. It would be helpful if everything was already set up, the postage process refined, store policies written so that I could just focus on making and posting as I can.

• go on a very good holiday

My husband and I went on a trip to Australia when I was 5 months pregnant, but that was a trip to visit family and run errands. I would have liked to have taken a holiday nearby closer to the delivery date. I would go somewhere very relaxing with minimal interruptions and lots of fun things to do. Snuggling time would be compulsory because my husband and I barely get any any alone time these days. Not that we are complaining at all, but we should definitely have 'topped up' on this while we could have.

• have a manicure and pedicure right before the due date

I managed to paint my nails two days before our son was born (which is a miracle in itself with a 9-month pregnant belly!) however I would definitely get a professional one done as close as possible to the time before having a baby again.

Validation

As a 'full time missionary,' a question I have been wrestling with is, am I still a missionary now that I am not doing any ministry? 

Sure, I understand that raising a child is a valuable and worthy way to spend my time, but am I still a 'missionary' or have I switched over to be a 'full time mum'?

The human side of me still wants to know my title, to know my role, even if only for myself. 

Last week I had a conversation with a young member of our community, a girl reaching the edges of young womanhood. It felt good to speak truth into someone's life again, to have a small taste of discipling someone after a long absence. 

As I was thinking over the conversation later, I was slowly aware of my internal dialogue. I thought to myself, 'maybe I can now spend time intentionally with her, speaking into her life'. 

I realized that I was validating myself, and my position in the community, based on the fact that I was now 'ministering' again to someone. The desire to disciple was good, but the motivation behind it was not. 

It is never ok to use ministry or discipleship in order to validate my own existence or even just my position. Discipleship that is effective must come out of a genuine selflessness. It must be a desire to see someone else grow up and grow into a deeper relationship with God. 

But my thoughts were all about me. I felt good because I was speaking into someone's life, and I now had value. 

God, forgive me for my self focus. Forgive me for selfishly using the gifts you have given me to build myself up and not your Kingdom.